Drug {Unlearning / Epicene}

 

It took me a minute    

Despite my intelligence    

I had failed    

To work it out    

Using logic    

To discern    

What our thing could be about    

The ever-novice route    

Prioritizing    

The memory of your lips    

The soft collision of our hips    

The very entry of your dick     

I have yet to rid    

My mind of it  

  

I want you in the wrong way  

You could be safe    

Not in the way I play    

I become strange    

You suffer my escape    

There's nothing left to say    

Now my fix has gone away    

 

He didn't stay 

 

Sensation

The justified name of the game    

The feeling dials you    

It's calling out your name at night    

Quick to forget    

This urgency wasn't present when we met  

Different stimuli attracted us and made it fun  

I forget    

‘Cos all I feel is wet 

 

I want you in the wrong way  

You could be safe    

Not in the way I play    

I become strange    

You suffer my escape    

There's nothing left to say    

Now my fix has gone away     

 

He didn't stay

Had Enough {Unlearning}

 

I don’t have time anymore

I don’t feel life anymore

 

The weight is heavy 

It forms every sound

My spirit needs carrying

But no one’s around

The plan is clear

But hard to see

I’m told to visualize 

This bubble’s blinding 

 

I’ve had enough

I’ve had enough

It gets too hard

I’ve had enough

 

I don’t have life anymore

I don’t feel time anymore

 

Lost by myself 

Alone at sea

A product of choice

Thoughts that control me

Unto them

They hold the key

They’re playing mind games

I fall at their feet

 

I’ve had enough

I’ve had enough

It gets too hard

I’ve had enough

 

[Chima Anya]

I’m not going to say too much but I do want to say this

I want to say this…

I’ve had enough, it’s bad enough 

All this random stuff is adding up

It seems like all of it’s attacking us

I’ve had enough the camel’s back is now cracking up

From ash to dust, past the point of caring now, that’s enough

You can say I’m not strong enough or I don’t want it much

Either way this thing has gone long enough 

Imma keep it short and sweet, always peace, ain’t no beef

But I’ve got to leave, the madness got to cease yeah 

 

I’ve had enough 

Shit To Do {Unlearning}

 

I’m tired of waiting for you

I’m tired of waiting for you

When I’ve got shit to do

 

Longing for the moment when he swoops in and saves me from myself

Welcomed distractions I don’t deal with my own greatness too well

They told us to want

They told us to need

That’s what we’re here for

Why are we feening and why are we pleasing when

We’re the creators

 

I’m tired of waiting for you

I’m tired of waiting for you

When I’ve got shit to do

 

Searching for desire in faces that don’t care about me

The promise of fucking and I start behaving so desperately

They told us to allure 

They told us be demure 

That’s what we’re here for

If we can’t ask for what we want then I guess that’s what

They gave us fingers for

 

I’m tired of waiting for you

I’m tired of waiting for you

When I’ve got shit to do

 

Welcomed distractions I don’t deal with my own greatness too well

Womxn's Way {Epicene}

 

Lady in waiting  

That's all I've come to know  

Vicarious living  

Is all I've come to show  

When, when, when, when    

Do I get my go  

I want the rollercoaster  

Without it, it's a deeper hole 

 

No love for me  

Yet I've got it going on  

Sexuality  

Stops me from being the one  

No, no, no    

Never give it on the first time  

Liberation's dead  

Keep your passions out of sight  

 

This is the womxn's way  

This is the womxn's way  

 

Prisoner of dirty    

You can't have it, it's against the law  

You want something serious    

Then don't tell him all your naughty thoughts 

Well, well, well, well

It seems that times have changed  

Regression is explanation  

Feminism just ain't the same 

 

No love for me  

Yet I've got it going on  

Sexuality  

Stops me from being the one  

No, no, no    

Never give it on the first time  

Liberation's dead  

Keep your passions out of sight  

 

This is the woman's way  

This is the woman's way  

Lines {Unlearning}

 

Lines penetrate me 

They fuck with my psyche 

In love with patriarchy 

My grandmother's dream 

Good at inventing 

It will make you detest me 

You are losing the best me 

I'm not who you see 

 

Let's draw a line 

A truth to uphold 

Though I already know 

What I long for is more 

My thinking will measure 

Whilst inside I burn 

You won't be concerned 

But tomorrow I'll yearn 

  

I can't be the lines 

I can't beat the lines 

Can't be the lines 

 

I can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

Can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

 

Lines start to break me 

Yet they draw me innately  

Purple should colour me 

But blue is my face  

Good at pretending 

My presence is calming  

They don't find me alarming 

Just running away 

 

Let's draw a line 

A truth to uphold 

Though I already know 

What I long for is more 

My thinking will measure 

Yet inside I burn 

You won't be concerned 

But tomorrow I'll yearn 

 

I can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines  

Can't be the lines 

 

I can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines  

Can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

 

You remain free 

No plans to lead 

Replaced our old energy 

Then time stood still 

Good at avoiding 

You evade gently 

Gone is the best we  

Dreaming disbelief   

 

I can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

Can't be the lines 

 

I can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

Can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

 

I can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

Can't be the lines 

Can't beat the lines 

Stories {Unlearning}

 

You say you love me and I believe you

But we know you’re not the truth

You tell me stories and I believe you

But we know you’re not the truth

Somewhere beyond my knowing

I care to be without you

Somewhere my life is showing at 5pm

But I’m still here with you

 

You say you love me and I believe you 

But we know you’re not the truth

You tell me stories and I believe you

But we know you’re not the truth

 

Magically I fall

The ground never felt this safe before

The cushion I had lost

Was made of stone

This time, this time, this time

The earth will help me

A graze will heal tomorrow

But you won’t let me

 

You say you love me and I believe you

But we know you’re not the truth

You tell me stories and I believe you

But we know you’re not the truth

Somewhere beyond my knowing

I care to be without you

Somewhere my life is showing at 5pm

But I’m still here with you

 

You say you love me and I believe you 

But we know you’re not the truth

You tell me stories and I believe you

But we know you’re not the truth

How Many Times {Epicene}

 

How many times 

Will it take
For you to show me 

That i am the last thing on your mind 

How many times

Will it take
For me to see that you smile 

Because I’m a toy I let you play 

 

My yesterday meant nothing 

So today you are reborn
I wash the feet of your majesty and it breaks me
I read the writing on the wall 

And I always hope for more 

The pained duality of seeing everything 

 

How many times

Will it take
For me to realize 

That you only feel what you decide
How many times 

Will it take
For me to understand 

That those who don't seek will never find 

 

You have locked away your wisdom 

With no plan to learn the truth 

It’s easier to say you understand everything
Your body is a trusted friend 

But you don't like where you live
If the sweetness tastes like nothing 

Then how can you long for it 

 

How many times

How many times

How many times

Time Again {Unlearning}

 

Time again
I see the same old ways
It questions me


Time again
I see the same old mistakes 

They never abandon me 

 

Reckonings that never come 

They can’t be summoned
A woman’s work is never done 

Until you let it happen 

 

I want to run again
This waiting’s not for me
I want to forget about the end
I’m working backwards into nothing 

 

I tried to tell them
I tried to tell them
They never learned how to listen to themselves 

 

I tried to heal them
I tried to be with them
They could never help themselves 

 

Time again
The stillness is a scary place
It always finds me


Time again
The truth comes out in other ways 

It never deceives me


Messages that feel like pain 

Talking isn't easy
Can I paint a different day
If history keeps repeating 

 

I want to run again
This waiting’s not for me
I want to forget about the end
I’m working backwards into nothing 

 

I tried to tell them
I tried to tell them
They never learned how to listen to themselves 

 

I tried to heal them
I tried to be with them
They could never help themselves 

15 Summers {Unlearning}

 

15 summers I came home too late 

Flying nowhere fast 

Through unnamed gates

Moving backwards

Despite the pace 

Chilly sunshine here

Histories grey 

 

I’m missing (far from what I’m yet to know)

I’m missing (15 felt so long ago)

I’m missing (here too long and I still don’t know)

I’m missing (what had came before) 

 

15 summers it took to me to know 

Mind over matter 

I was hurt before 

Threatening passages 

My gifts are replete 

Building bridges here 

But I can’t feel my feet 

 

I’m missing (far from what I’m yet to know)

I’m missing (15 felt so long ago)

I’m missing (here too long and I still don’t know)

I’m missing (what had came before) 

Fooling Everyone {Unlearning}

 

Talking about you 

‘Cos you're nowhere to be seen 

I'm chasing around you 

‘Cos it's the only way we be 

Fading into obscurity 

 

Crying about you 

‘Cos it's the only thing I own 

I'm lying about you 

It's all I have to make me whole 

The long drop before the water falls 

 

Feeling gone 

Dark ahead I'm lost 

Hope has hurt my heart 

Not how I once was

How I once was 

 

Laughing about you 

Like I'm fooling everyone 

I’m dying without you 

I'm not prepared for what's begun 

A new day without the rising sun 

 

Missing you

The one I thought I knew 

Fear disguised by you

Alluding my own truth                            

My own truth    

 

Talking about you 

‘Cos you're nowhere to be seen 

I'm chasing around you 

Cos it's the only way we be 

Fading into obscurity 

 

Talking about you 

Talking about you 

R & B + Alcohol {Epicene}

 

Texting vulnerable I’m exposed  

Too much words to say don’t over use  

Trialling the vibe don’t push too much  

Just respect yourself, say what you want  

'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up    

Said it's that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up    

Just when I’ve said enough, I say too much  

'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up

It fucks me up    

Waiting for the tone I’ve gone insane  

Watching bubbles start then drift away  

Knowing I can’t win I play anyway  

Deny all faculties, drink the game  

 

'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up    

Said it's that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up    

Just when I’ve said enough, I say too much  

'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up

It fucks me up

 

Catalysts I need for honesty    

Hiding in the texts, don’t let him see me

Detecting my desire he steps to  

But then I go too far and tell the truth  

 

'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up    

Said it's that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up    

Just when I’ve said enough, I say too much  

'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up

It fucks me up

It fucks me up

Take Me Down {Epicene}

You may think that I’m trying to tease you

But I’m for real

Not trying to play games

This is how I feel

I wanna have it rough

And I wanna feel you deep

I wanna clutch your back

And I wanna feel the heat

 

So just take me down, just take me down  

So just take me

 

You may think that I’m trying to please you

But I’m in control

I want it up and down  

And I want it back and forth  

Take me on a ride

Show me things I’ve never seen

Release your soul inside  

And treat me like your king

 

So just take me down, just take me down  

So just take me

 

So just take me 

 

You may think that i’m trying to please you…