Drug {Unlearning / Epicene}
It took me a minute
Despite my intelligence
I had failed
To work it out
Using logic
To discern
What our thing could be about
The ever-novice route
Prioritizing
The memory of your lips
The soft collision of our hips
The very entry of your dick
I have yet to rid
My mind of it
I want you in the wrong way
You could be safe
Not in the way I play
I become strange
You suffer my escape
There's nothing left to say
Now my fix has gone away
He didn't stay
Sensation
The justified name of the game
The feeling dials you
It's calling out your name at night
Quick to forget
This urgency wasn't present when we met
Different stimuli attracted us and made it fun
I forget
‘Cos all I feel is wet
I want you in the wrong way
You could be safe
Not in the way I play
I become strange
You suffer my escape
There's nothing left to say
Now my fix has gone away
He didn't stay
Had Enough {Unlearning}
I don’t have time anymore
I don’t feel life anymore
The weight is heavy
It forms every sound
My spirit needs carrying
But no one’s around
The plan is clear
But hard to see
I’m told to visualize
This bubble’s blinding
I’ve had enough
I’ve had enough
It gets too hard
I’ve had enough
I don’t have life anymore
I don’t feel time anymore
Lost by myself
Alone at sea
A product of choice
Thoughts that control me
Unto them
They hold the key
They’re playing mind games
I fall at their feet
I’ve had enough
I’ve had enough
It gets too hard
I’ve had enough
[Chima Anya]
I’m not going to say too much but I do want to say this
I want to say this…
I’ve had enough, it’s bad enough
All this random stuff is adding up
It seems like all of it’s attacking us
I’ve had enough the camel’s back is now cracking up
From ash to dust, past the point of caring now, that’s enough
You can say I’m not strong enough or I don’t want it much
Either way this thing has gone long enough
Imma keep it short and sweet, always peace, ain’t no beef
But I’ve got to leave, the madness got to cease yeah
I’ve had enough
Shit To Do {Unlearning}
I’m tired of waiting for you
I’m tired of waiting for you
When I’ve got shit to do
Longing for the moment when he swoops in and saves me from myself
Welcomed distractions I don’t deal with my own greatness too well
They told us to want
They told us to need
That’s what we’re here for
Why are we feening and why are we pleasing when
We’re the creators
I’m tired of waiting for you
I’m tired of waiting for you
When I’ve got shit to do
Searching for desire in faces that don’t care about me
The promise of fucking and I start behaving so desperately
They told us to allure
They told us be demure
That’s what we’re here for
If we can’t ask for what we want then I guess that’s what
They gave us fingers for
I’m tired of waiting for you
I’m tired of waiting for you
When I’ve got shit to do
Welcomed distractions I don’t deal with my own greatness too well
Womxn's Way {Epicene}
Lady in waiting
That's all I've come to know
Vicarious living
Is all I've come to show
When, when, when, when
Do I get my go
I want the rollercoaster
Without it, it's a deeper hole
No love for me
Yet I've got it going on
Sexuality
Stops me from being the one
No, no, no
Never give it on the first time
Liberation's dead
Keep your passions out of sight
This is the womxn's way
This is the womxn's way
Prisoner of dirty
You can't have it, it's against the law
You want something serious
Then don't tell him all your naughty thoughts
Well, well, well, well
It seems that times have changed
Regression is explanation
Feminism just ain't the same
No love for me
Yet I've got it going on
Sexuality
Stops me from being the one
No, no, no
Never give it on the first time
Liberation's dead
Keep your passions out of sight
This is the woman's way
This is the woman's way
Lines {Unlearning}
Lines penetrate me
They fuck with my psyche
In love with patriarchy
My grandmother's dream
Good at inventing
It will make you detest me
You are losing the best me
I'm not who you see
Let's draw a line
A truth to uphold
Though I already know
What I long for is more
My thinking will measure
Whilst inside I burn
You won't be concerned
But tomorrow I'll yearn
I can't be the lines
I can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
I can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Lines start to break me
Yet they draw me innately
Purple should colour me
But blue is my face
Good at pretending
My presence is calming
They don't find me alarming
Just running away
Let's draw a line
A truth to uphold
Though I already know
What I long for is more
My thinking will measure
Yet inside I burn
You won't be concerned
But tomorrow I'll yearn
I can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
I can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
You remain free
No plans to lead
Replaced our old energy
Then time stood still
Good at avoiding
You evade gently
Gone is the best we
Dreaming disbelief
I can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
I can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
I can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Can't be the lines
Can't beat the lines
Stories {Unlearning}
You say you love me and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
You tell me stories and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
Somewhere beyond my knowing
I care to be without you
Somewhere my life is showing at 5pm
But I’m still here with you
You say you love me and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
You tell me stories and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
Magically I fall
The ground never felt this safe before
The cushion I had lost
Was made of stone
This time, this time, this time
The earth will help me
A graze will heal tomorrow
But you won’t let me
You say you love me and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
You tell me stories and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
Somewhere beyond my knowing
I care to be without you
Somewhere my life is showing at 5pm
But I’m still here with you
You say you love me and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
You tell me stories and I believe you
But we know you’re not the truth
How Many Times {Epicene}
How many times
Will it take
For you to show me
That i am the last thing on your mind
How many times
Will it take
For me to see that you smile
Because I’m a toy I let you play
My yesterday meant nothing
So today you are reborn
I wash the feet of your majesty and it breaks me
I read the writing on the wall
And I always hope for more
The pained duality of seeing everything
How many times
Will it take
For me to realize
That you only feel what you decide
How many times
Will it take
For me to understand
That those who don't seek will never find
You have locked away your wisdom
With no plan to learn the truth
It’s easier to say you understand everything
Your body is a trusted friend
But you don't like where you live
If the sweetness tastes like nothing
Then how can you long for it
How many times
How many times
How many times
Time Again {Unlearning}
Time again
I see the same old ways
It questions me
Time again
I see the same old mistakes
They never abandon me
Reckonings that never come
They can’t be summoned
A woman’s work is never done
Until you let it happen
I want to run again
This waiting’s not for me
I want to forget about the end
I’m working backwards into nothing
I tried to tell them
I tried to tell them
They never learned how to listen to themselves
I tried to heal them
I tried to be with them
They could never help themselves
Time again
The stillness is a scary place
It always finds me
Time again
The truth comes out in other ways
It never deceives me
Messages that feel like pain
Talking isn't easy
Can I paint a different day
If history keeps repeating
I want to run again
This waiting’s not for me
I want to forget about the end
I’m working backwards into nothing
I tried to tell them
I tried to tell them
They never learned how to listen to themselves
I tried to heal them
I tried to be with them
They could never help themselves
15 Summers {Unlearning}
15 summers I came home too late
Flying nowhere fast
Through unnamed gates
Moving backwards
Despite the pace
Chilly sunshine here
Histories grey
I’m missing (far from what I’m yet to know)
I’m missing (15 felt so long ago)
I’m missing (here too long and I still don’t know)
I’m missing (what had came before)
15 summers it took to me to know
Mind over matter
I was hurt before
Threatening passages
My gifts are replete
Building bridges here
But I can’t feel my feet
I’m missing (far from what I’m yet to know)
I’m missing (15 felt so long ago)
I’m missing (here too long and I still don’t know)
I’m missing (what had came before)
Fooling Everyone {Unlearning}
Talking about you
‘Cos you're nowhere to be seen
I'm chasing around you
‘Cos it's the only way we be
Fading into obscurity
Crying about you
‘Cos it's the only thing I own
I'm lying about you
It's all I have to make me whole
The long drop before the water falls
Feeling gone
Dark ahead I'm lost
Hope has hurt my heart
Not how I once was
How I once was
Laughing about you
Like I'm fooling everyone
I’m dying without you
I'm not prepared for what's begun
A new day without the rising sun
Missing you
The one I thought I knew
Fear disguised by you
Alluding my own truth
My own truth
Talking about you
‘Cos you're nowhere to be seen
I'm chasing around you
Cos it's the only way we be
Fading into obscurity
Talking about you
Talking about you
R & B + Alcohol {Epicene}
Texting vulnerable I’m exposed
Too much words to say don’t over use
Trialling the vibe don’t push too much
Just respect yourself, say what you want
'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
Said it's that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
Just when I’ve said enough, I say too much
'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
It fucks me up
Waiting for the tone I’ve gone insane
Watching bubbles start then drift away
Knowing I can’t win I play anyway
Deny all faculties, drink the game
'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
Said it's that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
Just when I’ve said enough, I say too much
'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
It fucks me up
Catalysts I need for honesty
Hiding in the texts, don’t let him see me
Detecting my desire he steps to
But then I go too far and tell the truth
'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
Said it's that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
Just when I’ve said enough, I say too much
'Cos it’s that R&B and alcohol that fucks me up
It fucks me up
It fucks me up
Take Me Down {Epicene}
You may think that I’m trying to tease you
But I’m for real
Not trying to play games
This is how I feel
I wanna have it rough
And I wanna feel you deep
I wanna clutch your back
And I wanna feel the heat
So just take me down, just take me down
So just take me
You may think that I’m trying to please you
But I’m in control
I want it up and down
And I want it back and forth
Take me on a ride
Show me things I’ve never seen
Release your soul inside
And treat me like your king
So just take me down, just take me down
So just take me
So just take me
You may think that i’m trying to please you…